By Miriam Espaillat My Gambrell Foundation research trip experience — from experiencing new cultures to enriching relationships with folks from Charlotte, and basking in moments of personal reflection – is multilayered. To start off, I chose not to do much research before going to keep the element of surprise and minimize my personal biases and expectations. At first, I was intimidated to even say “Helsinki” because I was afraid to pronounce it wrong! The culture in Finland constantly kept me on my toes — from the beautiful architecture, to the connection with the forests, to the investment in hobbies, and of course, saunas and cold plunges. As we explored the Finnish way of life, my curiosity kept growing and I needed to discover what makes Finland a happy country. The theme I heard over and over from them was that the access to free healthcare, free early education, and free higher education relieved the financial burden on what they considered as basic needs. Being relieved from these burdens allows the Finnish community to invest in hobbies, which leads to happier lives. We had the chance to explore a few of their hobbies and ways of life through saunas and connecting with nature. The sauna experience was truly unique — from the vulnerability of being in a small space with other women, to building the courage to take the cold plunge in the Baltic Sea. I mean, it was cold! The vulnerability I experienced in that moment allowed me to feel physically and emotionally safe and relax in that space. It allowed me to giggle and be silly. I felt I became playful. The transition from Helsinki to Amsterdam felt like a complete contrast of culture. Amsterdam is fast-paced, racially diverse, busy, and let’s not forget the bikes — they have the right of way over pedestrians, yikes! As a person who grew up in NYC, this felt like home! The culinary diversity, hearing all types of languages while waiting to cross the street, the crowded streets — I felt myself say, “Yes! I belong here.” After getting through all the over-stimulation and excitement, especially as we visited parts of Amsterdam where most immigrants lived, I felt my heart get heavy. As we learned about the inequities that people of color and immigrants face in Amsterdam, I couldn’t help but say to myself, “Here, too? Is this truly a worldwide issue?” Later, we went on a bike tour, and it was beautiful to ride through the neighborhood and learn about its history. When we stopped at a historic site where a plane crash destroyed homes, families, and lives, I became overly grieved. Our tour guide said something that just broke me, something along the lines of, “All areas in Amsterdam have a name, an identity, and it is legally registered and named. Yet, this plane crash site does not, leaving the community seeking identity.” Something about this brought me to tears. It made me think of African slaves and immigrants throughout the world who desperately seek to create roots and identity because they either were forced to give up their identity or made a choice to leave their community behind in search of a better life. I think of myself as an immigrant in the U.S. and how storytelling, food, language, and music are crucial to my identity. It is a human desire to belong, and so many times we neglect it in our efforts to fit in or avoid discrimination and oppression. This experience will live with me forever. All aspects of this research expedition were impactful. However, spending time with Charlotte folks that I would have never fathomed spending this much time with is one of the greatest treasures that I hold onto. The ability to exchange ideas, to laugh, play, cry, and disagree has now become a natural dynamic for us. We connected in ways that ensure we know we can share resources, seek counsel, and collaborate with one another in different spaces. It has increased my sense of belonging in Charlotte, and even though being vulnerable is a risk, I know that there are people in different spaces who have my back and vice versa. My final reflection from this trip is that I now embrace seeking moments of awe and wonder. I am finding them almost everywhere — from my child hugging me, to a flower that captivated my attention; to hearing stories of others, that sometimes are painful but take immense courage to overcome; to being still, watching the trees sway and allowing a breeze to kiss my face; to steaming my shower to very hot and then turning it very cold to shock my body like the sauna and cold plunge. The biggest lesson I learned: stay curious! Stay curious to learn and try new things. Stay curious about people and their choices. My new sense of constant curiosity has increased my ability to be compassionate with and extend grace to myself and others.
